“Outdated is the pick-yourself-up, get-back-out-there, break-up book for third wave feminists and I loved every minute of reading it. Samhita begins with a radical possibility: being single is not a curse but if you are single and you don’t want to be, maybe it’s not you, maybe it’s the sexism. In a book that is one part cultural critique, one part political treatise, and one part women’s magazine, Samhita probes the complexity and hilarity of dating while feminist. She reminds us that although it is not easy, it is always necessary to navigate personal terrain on the way to making political change. Dating, marriage, love, sex, passion, and self-knowledge are to not sideshows in the political work of feminism, they are main attractions. Feminism is supposed to change who we are and challenge how we live. Samhita maps just how these commitments to gender equity impact young women as they look for loving companions–and it is about much more than who picks up the check or when you give up the sex. Outdated reminds young women to put down “he’s just not that into you” and assert “I’m just not that into sexism.””
Melissa Harris-Perry
“In this accessible, thought-provoking book, journalist Mukhopadhyay (editor of the blog Feministing.com) examines the pitfalls of romantic relationships in a world dominated by sexism, gender essentialism, racism, and heteronormativity. She describes her project as “a feminist critique on how we understand dating and a road map to guide us through our feminist dating adventures.” In doing so, she addresses the ways in which society pressures women to conform to antiquated stereotypes and stigmatizes anyone not actively trying to find a husband. She also calls out the sexist male writers of romantic self-help books aimed at women, including John Gray, Greg Behrendt, and Travis Stork, noting that “the self-help industry capitalizes on characterizing women as needy, wishy-washy, demanding too much, and being unstable.” Ultimately, she asks: “how do we date as feminists in a world that is so structured around patriarchy, power, and privilege?” Mukhopadhyay provides many excellent suggestions, including a list of the ways that feminism makes a woman stronger, smarter, and happier in the dating world. Though the message may not be new, and for all practical purposes ignores the GLBT community, many young women will benefit from reading this book.”